I am now slowly recovering from being sick (again). New sickness every month. This time is worse than all the sickness I had in this year.
I could not eat anything, I just threw up as soon as I ate. To avoid fainting because of dehydration and energy deficiency, I wrote to my friend to bring me some medicine and foods for this situation. She saved my life. My oversea family talked to me when I was not vomiting to keep me alive. I always know how important is to have friend and family. Now, I would say it is lifesaving to have them.
Actually, May and June are very demanding months to me. It is like I am supposed to speed up, instead of that, a full brake for a week. I was very weak for 3 full days, I could not even hold a book to read. I tried to listen to podcast sermons, only for 5 minutes, dizziness and nausea started to attack me.
Fortunately I could sleep, but I still could not sleep for 24 hours a day. The only and the ultimate essential option was to pray. Luxury time to talk to my heavenly Father. Not just in between wake up and breakfast time, nor praying while thinking of the never ending to-do-list, but a very long conversation with full attention.
It comforted me to think of the baptism of Jesus, he hasn’t perform any miracle yet, still His heavenly Father said, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.” (Mark 1:11) I was quite useless being sick, still no panic, because my WORK does not define my WORTH. My WORTH is solely found in how God sees me.
Why Jesus could please God? Because Jesus never side-tracked from doing God’s will. Jesus can calm the storm and He has done many wonderous miracles, but chose the most humiliating way to die for an accuse He never committed.
Being sick reminds me that, the more demanding is my timetable, the more I have to rely on Him not myself. When I am sick, I can do nothing. There are too many things out of my control, I simply have no idea at all, I need to let go of those stuffs. I have thrown away my previous life motto: With a perfect plan, everything can work out. So self-reliance and arrogant. Without God, every plan is nothing. So that when my work is “successful”, I would not take the credit, it is God who makes thing happen. I am just a servant, stewarding His resources like my talent and everything. I have to bear the outcome of being irresponsible. But when I’ve done my part, the outcome is not desirable? This one I cannot control, so it is not my job to worry about it, just trust Him.
Because of being so sick, once again, I come to the realization that without my potter – God, I am just mud, totally useless. As I am still figuring out the next step, how essential is to ask Him, am I a mug, a plate, a bowl, a vase or a jar?
I live my life in growing rings,
that stretch across things.
I may not be able to accomplish the last one,
but I will try.I circle around God, around the ancient tower,
Rainer Maria Rilke
and I circle for millennia;
and I do not yet know: am I a hawk, a storm
or a great song.
Note:
- I keep The Journey going on top of my daily duty and bread-and-butter-job. If you enjoy my blog and vlog, your support via https://ko-fi.com/thejourneywriter would be a great encouragement to me. I thank you in advance 😊
- How many books are behind my every blog post and video?
- Mother’s day is coming, I’ve prepared a DIY idea for decoration. Beautiful, easy to make and cost almost nothing. Have a look here: https://youtu.be/VF_uI6gO8Tw
- Recently, I posted about my trip to Paris in April. If you’ve missed them, you can view them here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-SMJubfXRM
内容Contents:
旧地重游的心情 How does it feel like to visit a place for the 2nd time?
卢浮宫 The Louvre
巴黎咖啡馆 Parisian Café
法式晚餐 French Dinner
蒙马特 Montmartre
圣心堂 Basilica of the Sacré-Cœur
- If you wish to receive notification when I upload a new video, you can subscribe to my channel and click on the bell, without any cost. I’d be happy 😊 Link to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@thejourney_writer