So you have become my home? Not yet, because the residence permit have still got an expiration date. I am so relieved to get rid of the ambiguous status, at least for the next 10 months. If compare to the 3 months extension, 10 months is luxurious long.
Thanks God for His guidance. Smart and diligent lost their magic when come to applying a freelancer residence permit, in my case. Luckily, faith and reliance on God never fails to perform miracle. It was torturing to wander around the administrations maze. At times I am so helpless that I do not even know how to cry. My friends were great and they concerned me but couldn’t help me because what I am experiencing is new to them.
Torturing, yet the process is good.
Good because I know that it would be impossible if it was not God’s plan. To me, a successful life is living a life after God’s purpose for me. I only have to focus on His plan, every other thing He will take care. But how to know if it is His plan for me? How do I know if I am not deceiving myself? It is even more easier for a Christian who read Bible a lot to deceive oneself. Know the Bible well and looking only for the verse that support my own interest. Am I doing that? That’s why I say this long and winding process is good. Good to have this clarification from above, if it was not divine intervention, it is just impossible. When it happens, then it is His plan.
Good because it keep me humble. I was in a such mess, I felt like everything I did was wrong. The temptation to be proud do not even has the chance to set foot in me. It was very humiliating to keep asking for help. But now I’ve learned, how courageous is it to ask for help not only from friends, also from strangers, otherwise I sink.
Good because I am content and I have peace of mind now. If I have not experienced how chaotic and difficult thing could be, I might not appreciate and give thanks to God when thing is going smoothly.
God alone deserves all the credit.
So for the next time 10 months, I can call Germany home. However, the most reaction I’ve got from my friends once they knew about this update is: “Now you can travel abroad!” They know me too well. I could not leave Germany without a visa, I would have problem to enter the border. Even if the customs let me in, let’s say, as a tourist, I am not allowed to work in Germany anymore.
In order to travel, I need a place I can officially call it home. This is very inspiring. Like a ship needs a harbour to set sail, an airplane needs airport to take off. They cannot be permanently on sail or flying, the oil and machine will get exhausted, it will be dangerous.
So it is good that you have become my home. You enable me to take wing.
Again, I am stealing the title from a book. “So you have become my home” is a book that consists of the love letters between Theodor Heuss (1st president of Germany) and his wife Elly Knapp (social reformer and author). Reading their letters give me some insights of home. In one letter, Elly was distressed by a tragedy happened to her friend and she wrote to her Dorle:
Oh sweet heart, I have a terrible longing to rest and to seek shelter in you.
Ach Herz, ich habe furchtbare Sehnsucht, bei Dir auszuruhen und geborgen zu sein.
Elly
Someone can be a home to one, when she can find rest and take shelter in him, so that her heart will be at peace again. Herzensruh, in German.
Song of the day, Love Letter (Liebesbriefchen)
More Reading about HOME
- Be it ever so humble
https://thejourney-writing.com/2021/09/be-it-ever-so-humble.html - Home (2021)
https://thejourney-writing.com/2021/01/home.html - Home (2022)
https://thejourney-writing.com/2022/04/home-2.html
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