As I am writing this blog post, I supposed to be in Bristol (UK) playing an organ recital. Apparently, the recital is cancelled due to the amendment of travel rules announced shortly before Christmas 2021. It is a pity, because both sides, the musicians/ organisers in UK and me have tried our best to make the recital happened. It was a good feeling to know that, on the other side of the sea, there are people waiting for my music. Therefore, a certain degree of disappointment occurred as I have to cancel it. Overall, it is fine, because we have tried our best and also because of every outcome that beyond our control still is in God’s hands.
When a friend asking me about my New Year Resolution, I blacked out. I do not know what am I supposed to expect in the year 2022, I do not really anticipating the new year to come as it is coming anyway, I lost the excitement for life, lack of motivation and I feel like I am just drifting in the middle of vast ocean.
Another friend reminded me about my passion: “I remember that you want to learn some new organ pieces by Caesar Franck and Mendelssohn?” Yes, the remaining organ classes until April is almost the one and only reason that I am still in Germany. However, a recent incident also added stress to me.
I have to travel to another city for my organ class, which is very usual here. Some people even travel everyday for work or school. The recent incident was I have bad experiences for three consecutive days in public transport. The most horrible one was at 10 am morning! A drunken man shouted to me, came near to me, thanks God that I stood near the door, before he was getting more aggressive, the tram arrived at a station that I could escape. The message is clear, it is not that safe to travel anymore.
Still, the first 5 days of 2022, I have precious moment of silence to think, to write, to read, to travel, to meet friends. Below, I summarized my thoughts, and these thoughts might get me back to track, hopefully.
“Rest is essential” a friend said.
“It is almost impossible.” I said.
“But you are not functioning when you are stuck. For important things like relationship with God, husband and wife, time to be alone to think, we have to find time, make time for them.” the friend replied.
“Yeah, I’ve got you. We relied on these things to live our lives. Just like breathing air and drinking water, we cannot say we do not have time to breath.” I tried to understand what the friend said.
I am reflecting on this conversation over and over again, and realized that I am restless, I use busyness to fill the emptiness, and fall into vicious circle. For example, after the stressful Christmas period, I have funerals to accompany on the organ, and if I have to play the recitals in UK, I can not stop practicing.
My Summer “break”, I did an organ master class, which I truly enjoyed, the highlight of the year, but it was very demanding. Every little tiny leave from work I have, I practiced for my organ lesson and play recitals somewhere, and managing my Blog, Youtube, Instagram. I never rest, this is wrong. I hope I could do better this year.
Pay attention to seemingly insignificant things and keep praying
These ideas come to my mind after observing some paintings of Albrecht Dürer. I was in Nuremberg on new year, the hometown – Heimat of the painter Albrecht Dürer. The paintings are:
– The Great Piece of Turf, 1503
– Praying Hands, 1508
Movie: At Eternity’s Gate.
A movie that I would rate 5 stars out of 5. It is about how artist Vincent van Gogh spends his final years. The picture, the colour, the light, the composition, the details, and the death scene are pure artistic.
The scene that touch my heart was the conversation between Vincent and the priest. The priest is questioning, why doing art? Van Gogh replied that he cannot otherwise but paint. To paint is the gift given from God, he has to stayed faithful as a good steward of the gift. Have I used my talents wisely as God intended them to be?
The relationship between his brother Theo and Vincent Van Gogh was moving. Vincent received only bad critics, if he is living in this era, his only FB or IG follower is Theo. Vincent realized that no one bought his paintings, he doubted himself, his ability:
“My paintings are not good, you said my paintings are good because you love me, because I am your brother.”
(This line is written from my memory, it might be slightly different in the movie)
“It’s not true!” Theo. History has proved it too, how popular are Vincent’s paintings now.
But, Vincent only needed one solid true fan – Theo to keep him going on. And thanks to Theo that nowadays we can appreciate Vincent’s paintings.
Book: Becoming Michelle Obama.
I need some good examples in my life, I think Michelle Obama is one of them. I just started to read her book, and this page is certainly sweet.
I know “JOURNEY” is a very common word, however, I like this word, I named my blog with “The Journey” and Barack Obama’s “an interesting journey” sounds cool. When the man I love loves me back, he is trustworthy enough to make this kind of promise and courageous enough to articulate it clearly to me, I would consider.
Song: Courage!
Since I mentioned courageous, the Schubert’s song “Courage” rang in my mind. A song with an uplifting lyrics (by Wilhelm Müller) :
When the snow flies in my face
I shake it off.
When my heart speaks in my breast
I sing loudly and merrily.
I do not hear what it tells me,
I have no ears;
I do not feel what it laments.
Lamenting is for fools.
Cheerfully out into the world,
against wind and storm!
If there is no God on earth,
then we ourselves are gods!
Translation © Richard Wigmore, author of Schubert: The Complete Song Texts, published by Schirmer Books,
provided courtesy of Oxford Lieder (www.oxfordlieder.co.uk)
Good news is, I believe there is a God, I can relax and let God be God. This song leads me to a Bible Verse, keep on reading.
Bible Verse:
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
So, be courageous into the year 2022.
Note:
Recently I am learning using Instagram (IG), this is one of the many reasons that I lack of time to update my blog. From December 2021 on, I practice to make Reels (short video on IG) by posting a new Reels every day. The no more than one minute video require hours to make. I have to design content, film, edit the film, write caption, find music, research which hashtag to use and it’s fun. Link: https://www.instagram.com/thejourney_writer/reels/
Please do check it out. If you like my video, please follow @thejourney_writer on IG. As you can see, the contents there are not duplicate from the blog, everything is tailor-made. I would also appreciate your generosity with click the like button, comment, save or share if you truly like my content. By doing so, you are helping more people to see the nice contents that I created with love. Thank you!
Impression of my Reels:
