I am enjoying my peaceful life. There is really only one thing is not that cheerful. The one thing is visa.
My collecting documents for freelancer visa is in limbo situation. The Job Centre was astonishing helpful in giving me instruction to establish myself as a self-employed musician and probably I could also establish myself as a content creator for “The Journey”. The precondition for this is I have to register myself as “Jobless” for the transition period, which is not bad at all. BUT for the Visa application, I cannot have the “Jobless” status, it will certainly fail.
I am the one to blame if I did not get the visa, because I keep rejecting the job offer that I am skeptical about to let myself be in the situation again like last year.
“I thought you need job to apply for visa, and I hope you stay.” A friend said. I feel spoilt to have so many friends like her.
“Thank you very much, I appreciate your effort. You’re absolutely right. But you knew that, there are reasons, why I leave my job. It does not make senses to leave my job in order to take the similar job again.”
As the deadline 24th June is approaching, I went to some interviews and show my “interest” but I have not committed to anything yet. The whole process was such a complicated feeling. I feel relieved when the offer did not successful. And when the offer seems successful, I came home and cried whole night, is this the future I want? Actually not. I was already regretting to go for interview on my way back home from the interview, collapsed once I’ve got home and had headache.
In short: The problem is in me. I am stuck through and through.
Flowers in May
Yet, I am truly happy. Because other than Visa, I am flourishing in every way, just like the May flowers are blooming now. My organ lesson is the highlight of the week, my little house has my attention, I have time to read, I have time to explore new literature, I have time to put my thousands ideas into words and get it out there.
A come back to my Youtube Channel is the next on my plan. May be when I do not have organ lesson in the semester break I will work on it. I want to edit the videos of my trip to Freiburg, Dresden, Potsdam and Berlin. Also to make more DIY videos, background music videos and may be a new filming project. If I have to leave Germany on 24th of June due to my stubbornness, I still want to go to Nuremberg again for filming. I was there on new year this year, my mind became clearer after visiting Nuremberg. Pentecost day is a perfect time to visit Nuremberg again. I hope to get a clear instruction there, like the apostles receive the Holy Spirit on Pentecost day.
The summary: I love my new life now. I will protect this with all my might – the freedom and the time to write, to create on “The Journey” and also to develop my music repertoire.
Developing Music Repertoire
4th of May in my post – Bergeslust I talked about studying “Six Little Preludes BWV 933-938”. I have read them completely now, the first harpsichord concert programme is in my pocket. Of course I need to nurture them every day until they are mature for stage.
My teacher advises me not to limit myself with harpsichord and organ when playing early keyboard music. The keyboard musician in 17th – 18th century can play on every keyboard instrument. They would definitely play on a grand piano if grand piano was invented at that time. Therefore, I should aim to be able to play on different keyboard instrument. Conclusion is grand piano should be my next goal after purchasing the Spinet. A friend said: “Then you need a house for your instruments and books.”
Dreaming is not illegal and it is free of charge. Besides, isn’t the Spinet my recent dream comes true? If God is behind the dream, He will establish. Every effort is in vain if the plan is not established by God. Therefore, nothing to be proud about if something works out, it’s just God’s plan.
My new musical engagement
I am on the menu of “Seelenschmaus” – “A feast for the souls” event in a church.
People of all ages, with big or small purses, with big or small worries have the opportunity here not only to satisfy the outer hunger, but also to refresh the soul.
Pastoral care discussions are possible. People who want to take a break from their daily routine and recharge their batteries are just as welcome as people who are happy to have an affordable warm lunch. Lunch costs only 2 euros for those in need. All those who can afford it pay the actual value of the meal.
And I am providing musical food during the lunch time!
This kind of event carry more weight to me if compare to individual family churchy event. Can’t you see? I’m still doing church music, only in an unconventional way.
Balancing Music and Writing
“Please tell me frankly, you can’t give the same attention to both music and writing right?” The friend see through me. She is right, I cannot give equal attention to both. Both music and writing require high concentration of attention. It is manageable now because (1) The music I am learning now is not very difficult, (2) I have my own Spinet at home, it save a lot of time, (3) I am only practicing for the next lesson, but no more. If I am preparing a concert, then I need to set aside writing. I am very honest about I am really far from being a super woman.
Swan eggs hatched
I remember during the lent season, about 5-6 weeks ago I saw the parents swan taking turn incubating their eggs under the willow tree every day I passed by the pond. I celebrate with them, as I see the little baby swans are walking around in the park. And I literally risked my life to take these pictures of swan family. I came too near and the adult swan chased me away. So embarrassing in the public park but here are the pictures for you!
How long more it takes for me to hatch? To get out of the egg? Like a little kid on a long journey, nagging the parents with the question: “Are we there yet?”
Music of the night, let’s listen to the first piece of my new darling “Six Little Preludes BWV 933-938”. It makes me happy, I hope you too!