About ten years ago, I remember it was a trend among my friends. The trend was to apply for working holiday visa in New Zealand in order to travel while working (picking fruits) for 6 months, and it could be extended to a year. They took a gap year after college, before postgraduate or apply for a serious job. I do not remember who have done this, but I remember one of them published a book about her year in New Zealand.
My Leonberg internship year is almost the same idea like the gap year in New Zealand of my friends. Only I am not picking fruit but picking precious musical experiences. I have rent a big and beautiful holiday apartment for the year, other than work, I was enjoying having friends to have holiday at my place.
The internship year was exciting, challenging, fun, nice and fruitful, still it has to come to an end just like every holiday or gap year. During the year, I was discovering myself and imagining the kind of life that I want to pursue. So afterward, I can only focusing on the one to two things that I really passionate about and gradually reduce the work that I do just because it should be done.
In order to make this happen, sadly, the truth is I can not work as a full time church musician (German context). As a full time church musician, I have to take care of worship services, adult choir, children choirs, gospel choir, orchestra, organizing concerts, performing, meetings etc. I was very busy but not very happy, because I do not have enough time to practice. My organ playing skill is getting worse, and I stop learning pieces that more than 10 minute, too long for the worship services and I have no time. And then, come corona, I can practice as much as I wish for, I found the joy again. So now, I really have to think, if to be a church musician should be my long term plan.
“Really? After hearing to all the sad scenario in music that happening now, you are considering to work as a part time church musician?” a musician friend asked me.
“To be fair, I’m really thankful that I am an employed musician now. Although it’s very painful without concerts, but at least I can pay my living cost. Anyway, corona won’t be forever, there will be a life after corona too.” I answered.
Life is larger than only pursuing a secure life. The “secure life” that we thought could change overnight through natural disaster, accident, cancer and you name it. If death visits me tomorrow, would I be at peace with myself and my creator because I have confined myself in pursuing a “secure life” or because I have lived my life to its fullest?
The decision made, from February on, I will downsize my work, my apartment, and my expenditure. I am not very sure if it is getting me closer to my dream, at least I am making space for something new to take place. If I am always occupied, I am not getting anywhere either. So, new lifestyle enabling new hope. My next fruit picking season is starting soon!
“You’re moving house again?” the reaction I get from different friends.
Yes, no matter how fickle I am, I am at home in music.
