WARUM?!

WHY?! Why you did this to me? The first 8 bars is expressing his anger to God. It followed by the different color in bar 9, saying, ‘yes, God, I will accept the fate’ …”

Prof. Lohmann was explaining Bach’s Fantasia in G Minor BWV 542. I was taking part at Thüringische Orgelakademie last summer.  

The fate was the death of his wife. He came back from a trip found her dead and buried. Wasn’t it relevant to today situation? People are not able to bury their dearest, they’re just gone without slightest warning, corpses being transport by military trucks. It is comforting to know that, it’s permitted to express negative feeling when we are suffering. 
 
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“Have a look at Liszt’s ‘Weinen, Klagen, Sorgen, Zagen’, please learn the later version which end with a choral. This piece is incomplete without the choral. He wrote this after his daughter died. Get yourself the UE score.” 
 

My organ Prof. said. My score arrived, the first thing I did was look at the choral and read, 

“Was Gott tut, das ist wohl getan… “

Wohl? Are you sure Mr. Liszt? I thought you’re a grieving father? May be my German is not that good, may be “wohl” has various meaning. I looked it up in dictionary:

1. Happy 2. Well 3. Good 

How can this be? 

During the time I was thinking about this question. I was also reading a book – Walking with God through pain and suffering by Timothy Keller. I read this: 

    “I’ve never had a big tragedy in my life – never really had to depend on God.” 
     Then the tragedy happened.
     “My image now is me just completely collapsed, and him carrying me – and it is awesome.” 

Suddenly, the music notation of Liszt emerged in my mind, I got the score and turned to this page. 


Do you see the going down notation with dying away sound, and the choral is holding it – What God does, is done well … 

And I read the book again, “My image now is me just completely collapsed, and him carrying me – and it is awesome.” 

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So good to have music. 
Bach told me, it is ok to have negative feeling. 
Liszt told me, God is carrying me through every suffering. 




Appendix: 
Thüringische Orgelakademie, Altenburg, August 2019. 



I’m really small in front of the pipe organ. This was how I feel last summer. What a privilege to play on the giant organ builder –Trost‘s organ, having lesson with very fine interpreter Prof. Lohmann and learning the giant composer – J.S. Bach‘s Prelude and Fugue in G Major (BWV 541). Yes, I am indeed just a little tiny ant.