The Current Situation

Today I encounter a German poem which can explain my current mental state. 

I question a lot how long am I allowed to play organ or to be in Germany. After my volunteer programme ended, I asked if I could passed the audition. After the audition, I asked if I could finish the bachelor in church music. After bachelor, I asked if  I could get an internship place. And after this internship, I am asking if I could find a job. Always dealing with uncertainty. On the other side, looking at all I am having now, I am abundantly blessed. If everything has to be taken away again, I have no complaint.  

I never changed my organ shoe, although it should be replaced since long ago. The reason I hesitate to change is because I am not sure if I am still playing organ next year. May be I should not focus on next year but this year, and I should always play with my old shoe to remind me that each opportunity to play music is grace. Grace is something could not be earned but being given.   

Before I leave this place and eventually this world, I should just do what I can with I have been given. 

Wirf deine Angst
in die Luft

Bald
ist deine Zeit um
bald
wächst der Himmel
unter dem Gras
fallen deine Träume
ins Nirgends

Noch
duftet die Nelke
singt die Drossel
noch darfst du lieben
Worte verschenken
noch bist du da

Sei was du bist
Gib was du hast

Rose Ausländer, Noch bist du da.