This year, every area that I felt confidence and I failed everywhere. Like the visa, unbelievable, the foreign office still asking me to provide new evidence, soon it will be 6 months since I submitted my application. I thought my financial situation is better than last year would be helpful for prolong my working visa, how wrong am I to think like that.
I almost could not travel to Paris this April if I have not tested negative for COVID 19 before travelling. I had to cancelled Toulouse because of my visa issue. But then, Amsterdam in February, organ excursion trip, both Munich trip, and Hamburg were not planned and turned out to be great.
After failed to get more view on my Youtube, Blog and IG, I thought I should focus more on a sound financial plan. The most regular income is through teaching. Although I do not considered myself an ambitious teacher, but teaching is still a pleasure to me. May be it is because I love children and I like to help people. Then all of sudden, sick or snow or whatever, my students cancelled the class. So I have time to work on The Journey again, which is my true passion.
And then, it is another problem, a content creator with limited internet, is like a whale been kept in a pond. I have not updated my Youtube for a long time because of this. But, at once some new book friends with brilliant ideas keep me busy on Instagram. Which require less internet as making a video.
An organist have no access to organ. I have some organs to practice on, it is just the churches are very busy in November and December. One day, I was so frustrated and the thought of get rid of my bed and buy an organ cross my mind (I have a very small apartment). My sister kept me sane: “You need your bed.” Still, I am lucky enough to have Spinett, it saved my life. I feed myself by playing organ, my Spinett is literally saving my life. I think I can practice organ again in January. Be Patient.
After the Munich and Hamburg trip, I am happy and broke at the same time. Suddenly, there are more works coming in. There was one miracle back in Summer, after a worship service, an old lady that I have never seen before, climbed up the difficult stair to organ and given me €100 as a thank you. I am baffled with joyous surprise. Whereas, sometimes, asking for reimbursement of train fare could stir a heated discussion. Another generosity I experienced. Because of the snow in Munich, I could not go back and I have to cancel my work. Still, I was moved when I heard “It is an accident, we will still pay you.” Where I thought I have right to get paid, I did not get paid, still unexpectedly someone met my need. Hopefully, very soon, I could make a trip again.
Things are stuck at the moment, the situation seems even worse if compared to last year this time. Despite of this, I am moving toward the direction I wish to be. I have been to more places this year, I have more students, there are more concerts to play next year, and I am exploded with ideas for The Journey, I only need more time and internet to get thing done. And all these come to me when I was not trying hard, because where I tried hard I failed completely.
So, next year, I need to be aware of His guidance and let God be at the driving seat. How sweet is the feeling of sit back and relax, to ride with the powerful wave of Holy Spirit. I use this Bible verse to conclude the year 2023.
“Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.” – Zechariah 4:6
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