Turning 40, apparently, in German culture is quite something. Already at the beginning of the year, my German friends and family were kindly asking how, when, and where I would celebrate my 40th runden Geburtstag. Usually, they celebrate it with a huge party. In case I organized this kind of party, they wanted to mark their calendars and come before planning anything else. Can you sense the seriousness of turning 40 from this?
At the beginning of 2025, fog masked my year with unclear health conditions; both my German working visa and Malaysian passport were expiring soon. I was not in the state to plan a party. I gave thanks for passing each day peacefully and being able to sleep.
No, I did not have that kind of runden Geburtstag party on my birthday, but I feel deep contentment when I look back on this year. Instead of having everyone gather in one place to celebrate my birthday, I celebrated it throughout the year 2025.
The first celebration was in February, visiting my friend in Munich and listening to my favourite Lied concert, being the first audience for the album Lines of Life, which I had waited for six years to hear.
Then came Freiburg, Amsterdam, Cologne, Hannover, Aalen, Heidelberg, Würzburg, Regensburg, Harz, Dresden, Munich, Ludwigsburg, Nuremberg, Würzburg (again), Oberstdorf, Munich (again), Bristol, and Oxford. I am at my happiest when I listen to my favourite Lied concerts live and meet family and friends from Hong Kong, Malaysia, the UK, Sweden, Korea, and different cities in Germany.
And this, like a signpost, hints at what I should be working toward from now on: flexibility. A kind of lifestyle and work that can sustain my life while allowing me to play organ, read, travel, write, study Lied concerts, and build relationships with friends and family scattered around the world.
Shortly before I went to Bristol and Oxford, I joined NetGalley and got approved for many great titles. I read on the train, posted my reviews at hotels, read during breakfast in Bristol, hung out with friends, wrote new stories, read at cafés in Oxford, explored the city, and made a small pilgrimage to the great stories born there. My flight back to Germany was delayed, and I sat at a café in London Heathrow finishing my concert review post. If I can make a living from this one day, how nice that would be.
Now, I start with what I can do at the moment. Keep doing what I’m doing now, even without knowing when or how this dream will come true, doing it with a joyful heart. I believe that, day by day, He will reveal the way He designed for me, step by step, and equip me with everything I need to carry out His plan. I’m not looking for a big miracle like the parting of the Red Sea, but I want to be faithful in everyday tasks.
Today, I bought a Green Apple Duftkerze candle. I love the soothing, refreshing apple scent. Now, I’m talking to Mom. Later, I’ll be cooking Gulai Ayam Padang.
I am much poorer now compared to when I started my self-employment three years ago. My savings and earnings have gone to travel, concert tickets, books, maintaining my apartment, and maintaining The Journey. Believe it or not, I am a happier person now, what a paradox.