With all my might, I would like to settle down. Alone because of the whole moving house process and running between immigration office and citizenship office are very tiring. I always make fun of the fact that I move house on annual or biennial basis because moving house is my hobby.
I dare not to complain that I am still vagabonding, for I am enjoying it even though it is not painless. One of many things that I enjoy is when I look into my cookbook, there are recipe of Frappe from my Greek friend, Pizza from my Italian friend, Sweet and Sour Pork from my Chinese friend, Bulgogi from my Korean friend, Hefezopf from my German friend and many more. Before I travel, the best meal I could prepare was instant noodle with cracked egg. Now, I can prepare international meal! Well, not always successful but taste like something in the direction.
Another thing is, I feel home in quite a lot of places. If you drop me in Stockholm, I know where to stroll and find my way to my friend’s house. If I happened to be in Hong Kong, I know who to call and arrangement a meet up. My room in Heilbronn still stay the same as when I leave, just in case I need overnight stay. For whatever reason I own 3 Oyster Cards although I do not visit London frequently now. The most extreme case that I can recall now was once in Ghana, the first morning when I was waken up by rooster crows, I thought I was home (in Malaysia).
This kind of happiness is affirmed in one Schubert’s song “Der Wanderer an den Mond” (D870). This line:
“O glücklich, wer, wohin er geht, Doch auf der Heimat Boden steht!”
“O happy he who, wherever he goes, still stands on his native soil!”
Actually this line is describing the moon. Because the sky is the home for the moon, so wherever the moon goes, is its home. This is contrary to the wanderer, which also has been to many places but do not belong to anywhere. I think I am the wanderer and at the same time I am the moon. I am the moon, especially when I read the card which written by my British friend:
“You are always welcome and always have a home (Bristol) here!”
Besides that, I really do have to thanks God for I am always exceptionally lucky in finding apartment. All beautiful and cozy, always an oasis to my weary soul.
No matter how cozy they were/ are, I cannot settle down in a place that I do not belong to. Just like doing fingering for music, when I realized that the fingering does not make sense, I have to find a new fingering. It would only do more harm, if I delay the change. But where to?
While I am waiting for the next station to be announced, let me spend a little time with Paul Klee’s painting – Woher? Wo? Wohin? (Where from? Where? Where to?)
